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    The power of words, or lack thereof

    When you're in a relationship, you don't have to say much. you'd probably even wish your lover were mute, so that he or she would be the perfect listener.
    Then things fall apart. Two weeks, two months or whatever it may be into the post-breakup phase, you finally become strong enough to look back into the past, and try to figure out what went wrong. The truth is, nothing was wrong. But you won't give up, you have to find a reason, a satisfactory answer to justify your intelligence. Your brain picks up the little traces of evidence that showed he or she did not love you enough, his/her little habits you couldn't stand, and the lack of common interests you shared. All these add up to the conclusion that your ex-relationship was bound to fail, and it was just a matter of time before it did. Then you conclude it in a blog entry or journal entry, or a book, if you're a love guru (then again a love guru's not supposed to fail, right?) that your relationship didn't fail, you two are just not that into each other. You finally let it all go, and start telling others "hey, it didn't fail, it just took us 3 years to realise we're not meant for each other, it could've been longer and wasted even more of our time!"
    Now it's time to marvel at your ingenuity.
    Who knows, it might even sell, if you're Sarah Jessica Parker.


    Gossip!

    I don't normally do gossips, but here's something I found out today.
    We all know that another death occured on campus the night before. Rumour has it that the second victim, whose name you could easily find on google, used to work at the same lab as our Indo boy. He was a chinese national who was working as a project officer at the School of EEE till he was found dead and dangling from a cord in his apartment up on Nanyang Heights. Now I can't help wonder if something fishy was going on between the two victims, and maybe there's more...
    Sex, lies and videotape. It'd be even better if some queer ass shit were involved in this.

    闭关

    干report,干quiz中
    拒绝参加一切和喝酒赌博操琴无关的聚会
     

    Neon

    When sky blue gets dark enough
    To see the colors of the city lights
    A trail of ruby red and diamond white
    Hits her like a sunrise

    She comes and goes and comes and goes
    Like no one can

    Tonight she's out to lose herself
    And find a high on Peachtree Street
    From mixed drinks to techno beats it's always
    Heavy into everything

    She comes and goes and comes and goes
    Like no one can
    She comes and goes and no one knows
    She's slipping through my hands

    She's always buzzing just like
    Neon, neon
    Neon, neon
    Who knows how long, how long, how long
    She can go before she burns away

    I can't be her angel now
    You know it's not my place to hold her down
    And it's hard for me to take a stand
    When I would take her anyway I can

    She comes and goes and comes and goes
    Like no one can
    She comes and goes and no one knows
    She's slipping through my hands

    She's always buzzing just like
    Neon, neon
    Neon, neon
    Who knows how long, how long, how long
    She can go before she burns away

    Lament

     
    There are people dying in this city everyday. Read the obituaries and you'll get a rough idea of how many mortal souls are claimed on a daily basis. The number averages at about 8, give or take a few. Once in awhile a death occurs in close proximty to us, and gets our attention. Then a person who was hardly known in his living days, all of a sudden, becomes the talk of the day. I can already speculate tomorrow's headlines: Singapore's very own Virginia Tech...minus 33.
    I wonder what went through his mind as he "fell off" the walkway. They say a person's life flashes before him when he dies. Was that four-storey fall long enough to accomodate a life time?
    Who gives a damn anyway? The people who are most concerned, besides those related  to the two victims, are probably the other final year students under Prof Chan's supervision. Everyone's got problems, quizzes, FYPs, grades and shit. People will get over this sooner than expected, especially in these days of uncertainty. There are upcoming career talks, job hunts, and deadlines to meet. If there is a lesson to be learnt from today's incident, it's "meet the deadline or you'll end up dead, literally".
    After all, he's no different from any of those faces on the obituaries, with the caveat that his death is somewhat different. But we should be able to accomodate unnatural death in this culturally-diverse society of ours. One more added to the number and one less competitor in the rat race, now that's good news!
    Being the top 15% or whatever in this nation's education system, we are supposed to have minds of steel. And if you break, that just shows you're incompetent. Why must they focus more attention on you than the rest? Don't try to pick flaws out of the system because it's been proven more than effecient at producing the "elite". So what if that room-mate of yours hasn't been going to classes? So what if he talks to himself and acts all weird? "We should respect others' privacy" or we simply don't give a shit about weirdoes like him.
    So next time when you see that guy next to you in class pulling a kitchen knife out of his bag, don't be alarmed, because he's merely gonna sharpen his pencil with it.

    写于日出前

     
    东拼西凑的写了Design Project的report,所谓东拼西凑是因为这块知识实在是我所能理解的范围之外,看了那么多paper和journal,要写的时候还是需要借助于wikipedia。其实打从进了小学校门那天起,我不过是在东拼西凑地用这些舶来品武装自己,连那些曾经自认为是原创的东西也不过是换个角度看同样的事物罢了。
    在光本那里看到以下的文字,觉得写得满贴切。
    这个世界开始变得喧嚣浮躁,同样带来人们的选择越来越多。往往,在成长过程中,我们一直在看着他人成功的故事进行借鉴,试图磨制另一个成功精英人士。然而,更多时候我认为的是,他人的成功仅仅是属于他们,对方成功的方式并不是适合自己的,就像你知道Chanel No.5并不是每个女人用了都像玛丽莲梦露一般妩媚性感。同样的道理,一个成功的方式如果能够运用到每个人的身上,那么它不可能是最好的方式。女孩子们在大商场里寻找着属于自己的那瓶香水,其实苦苦寻找的并不是伸手可得的普通款限量款,而是那瓶最适合自己的香水,你说对吗?”
    香水的例子可以换做任何商品,我更倾向于鞋子,那双不大不小的鞋子我至今还没找到,不过宁可买双大点的也不能削足适履。
    文斌跟我说他从PSB辞职是因为他适应不了德国人的工作方式,德国人精益求精的工作态度有时会转化成繁文缛节,做sales的结果变成每天写paper work。“我不在乎钱多钱少,最重要是要爽。”这句很新加坡式的阐述倒是很到位。谈起在上海的四年,他忽然眉飞色舞起来,听他说当年招兵买马的日子好像上海就是19世纪美国的西部,充满了机会和冒险的味道。
     
     

    震精了!!!!!!这是护舒宝广告么?

      

    咖啡vs斗鸡眼

     
    下课以后去can A买了杯咖啡,刚坐下正欲举杯畅饮的时候,忽闻一段印尼口音的英语“hello,can i sit here?" 抬头见一身着格子衬衫,脚凳拖鞋的哥们儿正对着我笑。我还没来得及回答丫已经一屁股坐下去了,然后开始滔滔不绝地介绍他们nus-ntu alumni entrepreneurship club的活动。我总觉得有点儿不对但就是没想明白哪儿不对,后来发现了。原来这哥们儿两只眼睛一直在向鼻子靠拢,也就是俗称的斗鸡眼。斗鸡眼兄兴致勃勃地讲了10分钟,从盘古开天辟地到两河流域的文明到穷爸爸富爸爸内本破书,整个一世界五千年。但我还是觉得内双眼睛太hilarious了,又不敢笑,只能摆出一个露4颗牙的标准微笑,很痛苦很痛苦...

    revelation

    reader discretion is advised: excessive usage of profanities in the following blog may cause discomfort, nausea, diarrhea or even death.



    i just made a remarkable discovery today. i realised how much of a boring person i really am!

    i woke up at around 9.30 am, took a dump and washed up, had my breakfast while watching kiddy shows on an unusually sunny sunday morning. then i walked around abit before settling down in front of my computer trying to get some work done. then i sat there......and sat there...... and sat there......by 12 noon i'd completed 3 episodes of generation kill. hoorah!!! but still, a piece of literature review was yet to be done.

    then i surfed around the usual few sites, replied some posts, gave some comments. then it hit me in the head, fuck, i'm a total fucking boredom, even to myself!

    then for a sec i thought about it, how i could turn into a completely different person at parties and shit.....and i concluded it must be the stimulus created by the presence of other human beings that initiated my transformation into this outspoken, extroverted cigarette puffing dude with a drink in his hand(usually in the left hand, coz the other hand's holding a cigarette), acting all excited and shit. and that's even before the alcohol kicks in. it's not a bad thing though, living different lives on alternate days. like some kinda superhero motherfucker pimping in the day and jumping from roof to roof at night. i enjoy the company of friends as much as my own solitude. no, not jerking off in the toilet if that's what yall dirty motherfuckers out there are thinking of. i could fucking rot at home all day, or for days, doing no shit at all, and when i start cruising, i'd put a mask on, acting like a fucking clown. life is not boring, it's just me looking at life through a pair of boring eyes.

    Ja Ja Jaison

     

    Merry Xmas Yall

     

    Here comes the sun

     

    This is D best cover of the song i've heard.

     
     

    一些往事

    当我合上《在路上》时,这本书基本没给我留下太深的印象,有的只是那些琐碎的细节。现在回忆起那些旅途,好像也不过如此吧,混乱而又简单。
    好像已经过了在半夜里露宿车站和站在路边竖起拇指搭顺风车的年龄,虽然这些想法会时而倔强地蹦出来。

    上一篇的视频果然被和谐了

     
    党很牛逼.....

    奥巴马放弃总统...

     

    凌晨蛋逼

    fwruffy elctrbst 说:
    the more life has a way of playing ur odds against u
    fwruffy elctrbst 说:
    if u don't invest in stocks
    fwruffy elctrbst 说:
    u get diagnose with some stupid disease
    fwruffy elctrbst 说:
    like "nipple cancer"
    fwruffy elctrbst 说:
    or "teeth tumour"
    于存洋 说:
    classic
    fwruffy elctrbst 说:
    and u'll lose ur retirement savings
    fwruffy elctrbst 说:
    and ur long-sought-after-happiness
    fwruffy elctrbst 说:
    thinking u've had it all well planned and thought out?
    fwruffy elctrbst 说:
    you got it wrong bro
    于存洋 说:
    that's y i never plan
    fwruffy elctrbst 说:
    hump all you can man
    于存洋 说:
    lol
    fwruffy elctrbst 说:
    and ur backpacking life style
    fwruffy elctrbst 说:
    i love it, just that i don't dare
    fwruffy elctrbst 说:
    i like the way u do tihngs
    fwruffy elctrbst 说:
    it's quite...
    于存洋 说:
    i care about certain things
    fwruffy elctrbst 说:
    out of the RI-style
    于存洋 说:
    RI
    fwruffy elctrbst 说:
    and definitely not the "typical china scholar" way
    于存洋 说:
    damn!
    fwruffy elctrbst 说:
    hahaha
    于存洋 说:
    damn again!
    fwruffy elctrbst 说:
    i'm doing things my own anti-ri way also wat.
    fwruffy elctrbst 说:
    hahaha sorry if u tried
    fwruffy elctrbst 说:
    but nah, u're going the opposite direction
    fwruffy elctrbst 说:
    way way opposite
    于存洋 说:
    i ran into some of them the other day
    fwruffy elctrbst 说:
    u're getting quite far in fact, so far u're drawing fans
    fwruffy elctrbst 说:
    haha
    于存洋 说:
    i used to think ppl like us are washouts
    fwruffy elctrbst 说:
    wat u mena "washouts"
    fwruffy elctrbst 说:
    us = you + me ?
    于存洋 说:
    or those who stayed behind
    于存洋 说:
    u know what i mean
    fwruffy elctrbst 说:
    stay behind where?
    于存洋 说:
    in sg
    fwruffy elctrbst 说:
    no no i mean
    fwruffy elctrbst 说:
    "us" PRC ppl in sg?
    于存洋 说:
    no, RI ppl la
    fwruffy elctrbst 说:
    or "us" Ri never-go-top-uni/jc rejects
    于存洋 说:
    ya
    于存洋 说:
    the latter
    fwruffy elctrbst 说:
    hahahaha
    fwruffy elctrbst 说:
    but wat did u mean by stay behind?
    于存洋 说:
    anw, now i don't presume anymore
    于存洋 说:
    i know for a fact that we are washouts
    于存洋 说:
    but big deal
    fwruffy elctrbst 说:
    haha
    fwruffy elctrbst 说:
    like not in the running for the big shit
    于存洋 说:
    no
    fwruffy elctrbst 说:
    that sorta washouts
    fwruffy elctrbst 说:
    or wat washouts
    fwruffy elctrbst 说:
    i'm really keen on knowing what u've gotten out of ur journeys dude
    于存洋 说:
    just that we didn't prove to be academically competent that's all
    fwruffy elctrbst 说:
    hahha so please bear with me
    fwruffy elctrbst 说:
    yeah trrruuuuue
    fwruffy elctrbst 说:
    i'm still academically inapt
    于存洋 说:
    if you'r really keen
    于存洋 说:
    join me nxt time
    fwruffy elctrbst 说:
    and still going down the logarithmic curve
    fwruffy elctrbst 说:
    haha i would, but i got sch i need to attend, practicums to do in sch
    于存洋 说:
    or we could talk about this over coffee... or alcohol
    fwruffy elctrbst 说:
    the latter's good

    Cockroach Blues

     

    synaesthesia

     
    synaesthesia/synesthesia (noun)
     
    "...in psychology, the evocation of one kind of sense impression when another sense is stimulated, for example, the sensation of color when a sound is heard; in literature, the description of one kind of sense perception using words that describe another kind of sense perception, as in the phrase ' shining metallic words'..."
     
    ~ Encarta Dictionary
     
    记得以前在discovery上看过一个介绍这个病症的节目,有个英国女人听音乐的时候可以“看”到颜色,低音是黑色的,高音是蓝色的...很神奇
     
    synaesthesia 是madeleine送我的第三本诗集。封面照例是她孩子的涂鸦,很可爱。废话少说,摘抄一首。
     
    gold
     
    the first lot copper toned
    flourishing upon a dead log
    between reservoir and runner soles
     
    in no particular order tossed
    like coins in a fountain by hopefuls
    bursting like rust from pipes
     
    punctuating the page
    like quotation marks
    in a mouldy manuscript
     
    PS: 恭喜小安同学拿到瑞士信贷实习offer
     
     

    Sylvia Plath

     
     
     
    I wish I had a Sylvia Plath
    Busted tooth and a smile
    And cigarette ashes in her drink
    The kind that goes out and then sleeps for a week
    The kind that goes out on her
    To give me a reason, for well, I dunno

    And maybe she'd take me to France
    Or maybe to Spain and she'd ask me to dance
    In a mansion on the top of a hill
    She'd ash on the carpets
    And slip me a pill
    Then she'd get pretty loaded on gin
    And maybe she'd give me a bath
    How I wish I had a Sylvia Plath

    And she and I would sleep on a boat
    And swim in the sea without clothes
    With rain falling fast on the sea
    While she was swimming away, she'd be winking at me
    Telling me it would all be okay
    Out on the horizon and fading away
    And I'd swim to the boat and I'd laugh
    I gotta get me a Sylvia Plath

    And maybe she'd take me to France
    Or maybe to Spain and she'd ask me to dance
    In a mansion on the top of a hill
    She'd ash on the carpets
    And slip me a pill
    Then she'd get pretty loaded on gin
    And maybe she'd give me a bath
    How I wish I had a Sylvia Plath
    I wish I had a Sylvia Plath

    the hottest mum